Dino's entity 303 sighting
Finally, here it is Windows 10 - or Windows "Can't count to 9 edition". Yea, if I waited any longer to get these screen shots out they would have Windows Eleventeen or whatever out. Honestly, Windows 10 is a steaming pile of shit that is only slightly better than Windows 8 and I really just don't want to fuck with it. Which is why they are trying like mad to push this out to Windows 7 users. They know nobody wants it. Oh, but it is a "free" upgrade! http://toastytech.com/guis/win10login.png If you recall, Windows 8 introduced that retarded "lock screen" at startup. No visual indication as what to do here. Just randomly click on crap until it does something. Well, finally, we have our answer. THIS IS A PLACE HOLDER FOR ADVERTISING! And now they are starting to push some out. So if you start up your Windows 10 computer, you might instead see this advertisement for some video game: http://toastytech.com/guis/win10ad2.jpg http://toastytech.com/guis/win10desktop.png OK kids, anyway, here it is: Windows 10. First of all, holy shit this is a dark desktop theme. It feels like it was designed by someone who was massively depressed. I think I'll go slit my wrists now. My eyes are already bleeding trying to read dark gray text on darker gray. Please kill me. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10start.png And this is the new Windows 10 start menu. Thankfully, it no longer covers the entire fucking screen, but you would hardly know it since everything is black. As with Windows 8, every "app" here by default is basically advertising, and requires Microsoft's internet services. If you give them some data to chew on the "live tiles" will display insanely annoying animation. Also that search box takes up an annoying amount of space in the task bar. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10allapps.png It took me a little while to notice it, but the "All Programs" button is at the bottom of the Start Menu. This will show you all of the real applications installed on the computer. Like Windows 8, this still shows one long list of all programs, but now it is in one single scrolling column. At least they have rediscovered folders. You can expand any folder or group to show all of the programs within, and close it to somewhat shorten the list. You can then "pin" your real applications to the start screen by dragging and dropping. Incidentally, you could add icons to the top of the Start Menu on Windows 95. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10tile.png The webby Metro applications (or whatever they call them now) open in overlapping windows. You may maximize them to run full screen, if you really want, and you may minimize them to the task bar. WELCOME TO THE ADVANCEMENTS OF 1987 AND WINDOWS 2.0!!!! You may also notice that the metro-ish applications have been restyled so they have a mostly iconic menu bar down the left side. (What, no ribbon?) http://toastytech.com/guis/win10control.png It still has two control panels, a dumbed down metro-ish one and the classic control panel. So far I haven't seen that retarded "Charms Bar". Looks like they got rid of it. Hopefully they also got rid of whoever thought that was a good idea. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10cortana.png Cortana? What the hell is this? It looks like the mutant offspring of Clippy and GlaDOS! First they try and bring back touch screens and now they try to bring back speech recognition. Because we all know how pleasant being in an office full of loud talking idiots is. But Cortana promises that after giving you help writing that letter, there will be cake and grief counseling! http://toastytech.com/guis/win10filemanager.png Well, at least it has the usual Windows Explorer. Although those "Ribbon" toolbars are looking more cluttered than ever. Give it up already and put the menu bar back! Notice the default placement of Microsoft's OneDrive service as a location. OneDrive is Microsoft's file hosting service. You are supposed to give them your files so they can analyze them for marketing data and bank account numbers. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10ie.png Windows 10 now has TWO web browsers. "Microsoft Edge" and Microsoft Internet Explorer. Off hand, I don't really know (or want to know) how much is shared underneath the hood. Reports have it that they use different rendering engines. Perhaps this is to address local applications that are assimilated by IE breaking every time they updated it. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10nohelp.png As with Windows 8, even the most simple help files require phoning Microsoft. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10shit2.png A prominent new feature of Microsoft Windows 10 is "Telemetry" this sends back all kinds of unknown information to Microsoft. If you think you can completely turn it off, you have another thing coming to you. Basically, until someone audits every line of code, publicly documents what it does, and holds Microsoft accountable to not make changes without public documentation, you should assume it is snapping naughty pictures of your 8-year old daughter. http://toastytech.com/guis/win10winemine.png I am pleasantly surprised that there is still a 32-bit Windows version, and that it will still run DOS and 16-bit Windows 3.x applications. Certainly, many businesses require this. There was some talk that Windows 10 would not support floppy disks, but it seems to work fine, at least for standard 1.44mb disks on a real FDC. Shutting down Windows 10. - I had come up with this graphic back around 1999 for a long obsolete "Windows 2001" parody page. Nailed it. Why not add more advertising at shutdown? And don't forget to send telemetry back to our good friend and advertising executive Satya Nadella. In conclusion, at least they tried to bring back the regular desktop in Windows 10. It is a bit of an improvement over Windows 8 - but anything would be. However, if you still have Windows 7 then hang on to it for dear life.